“Who can find a virtuous woman?”
Welcome to Silk and Purple! Let this informal proverbs 31 bible study stretch and encourage where ever you are on the path with God. Chances are if you’ve made it here you are a Christian. Praise the Lord!
Let’s be real, as a woman in this day and age reading proverbs 31 can seem outdated and completely unattainable. Proverbs 31 is not actually about a real woman. She would be perfect. In our humanness, we can never attain perfection. However, we do serve a perfect God who sent His perfect Son to die on the cross that we may be forgiven of our sins.
With the Holy Spirit’s guiding, proverbs 31 can serve as a wonderful lifelong study of what God says is the ideal framework for a wife and woman to be.
Have hope sister, God is faithful to fulfill his promises
Sister friend, this article is written with much prayer and study. We must go to what God says, and not man. We must also as Christians grow our faith instead of staying stagnant. My preacher says, “you’re either growing in the Lord, or backsliding. There is no place of stagnation.”
We have an active choice on which direction we choose. Walk-in Him or walk in the flesh. Black and white. Grab a cup of tea(if there was a virtual teacup I’d fill it for you), and read on. Shall we begin?
The Modern Proverbs 31 Woman
Proverbs 31:10-31 was originally intended as a blueprint for what type of wife to look for. It is a set of ideals, and not actually based on a real woman. The mother was instructing her son in what to look for in a woman.
1. Her Husband Trusts her
Look at Proverbs 31:11. It says, “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil”.
She is resourceful. She is frugal. Back in biblical times, it was a matter of survival for women to look after the food supply, and be mindful about it.
In our modern-day of excess and consumerism women tend to go all out. Even if your husband gives you permission to shop and redecorate again, think about spending every dollar wisely.
If we’re all honest there’s at least one area in which we, as wives, can be more resourceful. Maybe it’s bulk shopping, or meal prepping. Perhaps it is only buying clothes at thrift stores, instead of new.
It can be stressful for a husband to work hard all day and then come home to a wife that’s bought a brand new bag again. I’m not saying change all of your habits right away, but if you’re new to budgeting or frugality, there are many small things that could be done.
For example, instead of the date night out at a restaurant bake a special goodie from scratch, and go for a sunset picnic instead. Budget a small amount away weekly. The next time the car breaks or you need something, surprise your husband with the extra you’ve set aside. It will build his trust in you and build your faith in God.
2. She will do him (her husband) good
Proverbs 31:12, “she will do him good, and not evil all the days of her life.”
Evil is defined as follows:
1. having bad qualities of a natural kind; mischievous
2. having bad qualities of a moral kind; wicked; corrupt, perverse; wrong
3. unfortunate; unhappy; producing sorrow, distress, injury or calamity.
4. not kindly.
Confession: I struggle so much with this. My husband is a natural glass half full kind of person, and well I’m the other. I keep praying God changes me and He is faithful. How often are women in our culture today unhappy and not kind towards their husbands?
In honesty, most women of today and obviously back in biblical times too struggle with being happy and kind. Notice it says ALL the days of her life. That’s a lot to swallow in this modern-day, when culturally things can be so opposite.
3. She works willingly
Proverbs 31:13, “She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.”
In biblical times women had to be continuing to knit, crochet, and sew to keep up with clothing needs. Let’s be real, most of us buy our clothes. For you knitters, seamstresses, and crocheters high five! Teach the rest of us and don’t let that sweet homemaking skill drop away.
The principle in this verse is that she is willing to work with her hands willingly.
As Christian women, we must be zealous for work. I know I hear you too. There are days and evenings it’s so nice to just veg out, and scroll through Pinterest. Whether you are a homemaker or work outside of the home, a women’s work is never done.
There are more ways than I could list that today’s woman can work with her hands. We have many modern-day conveniences, and even those in a certain class can afford services such as lawn care and cleaning. Oh, how lovely that would be.
However, it’s in the mopping of the floor, and preparing dinner again that the sweet simplicities of life can echo to your heart God’s faithfulness.
During a certain season of growth, I took up bread baking. It was a way for me to work willingly with my hands daily and still do. There’s a great satisfaction one gets from working with their hands.
So, brainstorm out a way you could work more willingly, or simply ask God to give you the grace to stop the grumble bumble bee from going out of your mouth about all the things you need to.
“Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established.” Prov 16:3
4. She always feeds her family
Proverbs 31:14, “she is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar.”
The modern-day woman can totally excel at this with every country and continents food supply at our local grocery store. Trader Joes, and you’ve got the world’s bountiful harvest for your picking.
In all seriousness though she feeds her family at whatever distance she must go. I’m not talking late night crave attack from Taco Bell. Be intentional with meal preparation, and watch God work a miracle in your life.
Plan your meals, be joyful in the time we live, and the country God had you to be born in. There are still so many in the third world countries that go hungry every day. Pray for them.
5. She rises early
Proverbs 31:15, “she riseth while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.”
Noooooo! While it is still night! My close sister-friend asked me one day, “do you think the proverbs 31 woman was forever sleep-deprived?” Yes, I do. I know sister sleep is so sweet especially in those child-rearing years.
It seems a constant theme throughout the bible, that people used by the Lord woke early. Like 4 am early. For you natural early risers, awesome! But for those of us night owls, continue to pray to God to wake you up early. There are so many reasons to wake early.
Here we see she woke early to prepare breakfast for her family, and her maidens. Cultivate the habit of early rising, allowing yourself enough time with God before the others wake, and make breakfast time family time to pray about the day together.
There’s a lot of overnight recipes making it simple to have a good breakfast for your family. Oatmeal is a staple in our home. As for the maidens, bake some muffins or bread, and share them with your circle around you, be it co-workers or neighbors.
6. She is financially savvy
Proverbs 31:16, “She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.”
The modern proverbs 31 woman is financially savvy. She understands money, and how to make proper investments. She gets a return on what she buys. Even if you can’t get into real estate you could signup for Poshmark, or list old items on eBay.
For you homesteaders out there, notice with her hands she plants it. Get your hands out in that yard, and plant veggie starts or flowers, and sell them at a fruit stand or craigslist.
7. She strengthens her arms
Proverbs 31:17, “She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.”
Modern proverbs 31 woman, squat and plank it out! I remember the first time this verse really grabbed me. It was very exciting!
I used to be a fitness girl before I was saved, and God took away my desire for working out like I used to(it used to be an idol in my life). If there was any particular exercise I would recommend to women; it would be planks and squats.
Just those two exercises consistently, even just 5 minutes a day, can do wonders with aging and keeping your strength. Even though we are the weaker vessel, it’s important to be healthy and strong.
8. She works on her craft for merchandise. She sells/trades her goods.
Proverbs 31:18, “She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.”
Merchandise originally is an object of commerce. Wares such as goods, commodities, and things sold or bought in trade. Women in biblical times made clothing, or spun yarn. They baked bread, made pottery, and the useful items a home would need to function.
The modern proverbs 31 woman has probably too many choices for choosing a craft. There are many points of merchandise we could choose. However, she chooses a craft, and commits in faith with diligence to work on it. She works on it every spare moment. She stays up late, past putting the family to bed, to finish her merchandise.
9. She sees through start to finish
Proverbs 31: 19, “She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands to the distaff.”
The modern proverbs 31 woman typically isn’t spinning yarn anymore. However, think about the time and preparation it went into taking the raw flax, and cotton to get it into yarn, Then the women would knit, crochet, or sew clothing and blankets for their family.
This entire process took time. It required diligence and patience. It had a clear beginning and ending result, which couldn’t have happened unless she saw things through. The modern proverbs 31 woman needs to see things through to the end.
In this age that can be so difficult, especially when the world all too often quits halfway. Divorce is well over 50%. Many people quit projects, jobs, or schooling to jump into the next and quit that too. Many people move around every couple years and uproot out of churches all of the time.
It seems practically counter culture to see things through. I’m not saying don’t follow when the Spirit is leading, but I am saying, prayerfully consider BEFORE embarking on a new venture. God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. If He truly has called you to do something, it will be the same tomorrow.
Wait on the Lord’s leading in ALL things. He is faithful. He does move us at times. However, just as He didn’t stop creation on day 3, we should not stop mid-way through something He has called us to do.
Simply finishing what you start is a testimony for the Lord in this time period. Even simple things can be seen through to the end. Just as Jesus is the author and finisher of our faith; so we must be the finisher of the daily tasks and bigger projects that we take on.
There is nothing wrong with TAKING TIME to fully be sure, in order that once committed you can see through. Confession: I am horrible at this. My entire life before salvation was like leapfrog in almost all aspects. God has really had a supernatural work in me to get me to sloooow down. However, my flesh battles me daily, and I still want to jump all over.
Seeing things through to the end is accomplishing. It builds our faith. What happens if we make the wrong decision? Answer: He forgives. We apologize to those around us who may have been affected. Continue to pray God brings stability, and lean-to your husband for decision making.
10. She helps those who need it
Proverbs 31:20, “She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.”
The modern proverbs 31 woman helps those in need. The poor will always be with us but it doesn’t all fall on the government and agencies. Get involved in a charity, or missions group. There’s ample opportunity for the woman today to help give.
Notice how it says hands? Not money. Oftentimes Christians of today will give money, but not time. Visit a nursing home, or an elderly person in your neighborhood. Help a single mom out. Give an ear to someone you know who is struggling mentally or physically.
Bake cookies, and go pass them out with tracts to the street people. Plan a missions trip. There are so many possibilities out there in how to help those in need. Jesus was moved with compassion. We should be too.
11. She is not afraid
Proverbs 31:21, “she is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.”
How often do women worry? It seems like all. the. time. The modern proverbs 31 woman casts her burdens on the Lord. She prays for her family, and lets go of fear. She walks in faith.
12. She makes things
Proverbs 31:22, “she maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.”
The modern proverbs 31 woman is crafty. She makes things. Perhaps she can sew, or knit. She makes beautiful things to put in her home or give as gifts. In our world today the opportunity to be crafty and make things is easier than ever.
I’m not a ‘natural’ crafty person, but in faith, I have had to allow God to change me and challenge me. Even if you find yourself not making things, start with coloring, and allow God to open you up to the creativity that He has put in all His children.
Her clothing is silk and purple. Symbolic for being a daughter of the King. She has faith. Her faith is not shaken. She is clothed in righteousness, not because of what she has done, but because of what Jesus did on the cross.
13. She supplies
Proverbs 31:24, “she maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.”
The modern proverbs 31 woman is a supplier. Notice she makes it and delivers it. She is not the merchant. She is not the storefront owner, but rather the keeper AT home. Her duties at home don’t keep her from adding income to the family. They rather show the faithfulness of God in stretching her to think outside the box.
She meets the needs of others, starting with her family, and stretching out to her community.
14. She makes good decisions
Proverbs 31: 25, “Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.”
‘A word study on strength defines as that which supports; confidence. Also, soundness; force, firmness, solidity or toughness. No breaking or yielding. Power or vigor of any kind.’ Taken from the websters 1828 dictionary.
The seasoned godly woman doesn’t yield in the trial or temptation, but rather remains rooted on the solid rock of Christ. Her faith is firm as her foundation. She supports others. Her confidence is found in God.
‘A word study on honor: reputation, good name; true nobleness of mind. She has dignity.’ Others respect her.
Regardless of your past, God redeems, and delivers. He came to save that which was lost. Jesus came for the sinner. He clothes you in His strength and honor. This should cause the believer to rejoice. Keep your thoughts on eternal living.
15. She speaks with wisdom
Proverbs 31: 26, “She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.”
Facepalm. Who can control the tongue? The vanity of this world. Our culture continually tears down, yet as women seeking the Lord, we must speak with kindness. Say something wrong, His mercies are new every day. Continually asking in prayer for the fruit of the spirit, and His help in walking in the Spirit.
I know I’ve been there more times than I even want to admit my wretchedness the, “oh did I really just say that?” God empowers the humble. There is nothing wrong with apologizing over and over until God completes the work of kindness in the heart.
In order to speak with wisdom, the modern proverbs 31 woman MUST be studying the scriptures daily. Meditate on His word. Memorize His Word. Guard what you watch, and read.
“Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of a good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” Philippians 4:8 KJV
16. She is a doer
Proverbs 31:27, “She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.”
Let’s face it, never has there been another point in history, that it’s been easier to be idle than today. Facebook alone can suck a person in for literally hours. Movies, entertainment, telephone calls. We didn’t even get to Pinterest, or googles. This world we are living in is such a different world than the human race before us.
We MUST be diligent in taking note of idleness. Set timers for social media, or better yet quit. Be purposeful with the time God gives you.
17. Her Family respects her
Proverbs 31:28, “Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.”
It hurts my heart when you talk to the mom with the sassy teenager. I know because I was that girl. Sorry mom. My heart gets heavy when wives are a burden instead of a blessing. I know because I was her. Some days I still am. Sorry husband. It is sad when children count down the days until they can “leave” home.
Regardless of whether you grew up in the faith, and knew of the things of God from a young age, or not until later like myself. God is the finisher of our faith! Our families, and the relationship dynamics with them can really indicate how godly one is living.
Hot mess sister-friend have no fear, Jesus is always near. I can assure you, if you would seek him with your whole heart, and let your soul come undone before him. He is faithful ALL the time. He will guide you through His word on what to do.
God has freed me from much of my regrets. I know if you ask my boys they may say my mommy could be better, but she certainly loves Jesus. They’ve watched me on my knees crying more than I would want them to. But, at the end of the day, it isn’t about our appearance of perfection. Rather, it’s about showing your family what faith is. How to have a relationship with Jesus.
My biggest hope is teaching my children to run to Him in the storm, rather than abandon ship. The modern proverbs 31 woman has a family that knows she unconditionally loves them. They praise her for the sacrificial love she shows them. Her motivation is to serve rather than be served.
18. She fears the lord
Proverbs 31:29, “Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.“
Modern proverbs 31 woman, can I encourage you to dive into His word? The godly woman is concerned with her relationship to the Lord, rather than the vanities of this life.
19. She sows good deeds
Proverbs 31:31, “Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.”
One day everyone will be judged. Eternal destination is on the line. If you are unsure of what salvation is and how to get it, please click the link. If you know you’re going to heaven, don’t waste your Christian life.
The modern proverbs 31 woman should stick out like a sore thumb in today’s world. As time continues, and the day is closer to Jesus coming again, living godly in this ungodly world is harder and harder.
Love with all the power God gives you. Be kind. Inspire hope. Apologize. Bake a goodie for your husband. Laugh with your kids. If you fall down, let God pick you back up. Every single day, we are given another chance to move forward.
Even if you feel broken beyond repair, and so far from living a godly life. Always hope. He tends to put the pieces back together even better than they were. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.
With God ALL things are possible.
I hope that this informal study and online conversation causes you to reflect, grab your bible, and have some good one on one time with the Lord. I know for me, studying proverbs 31 has helped to shape me into the woman I am now. It continually gives me hope for the miracles God can work. Because, if you would’ve seen me before salvation, I was anything but a proverbs 31 lady, and definitely not wanting to be either.
Proverbs 31 can serve as a blueprint in our day to day lives as Christian women. Chew on it. Digest it, and be filled.
Are you a modern proverbs 31 woman? Has God put something on your heart to share? Silk and purple is currently accepting articles. If interested, email firstname.lastname@example.org.